LETTERS....

Another activity was done in our self awareness. Another bunch of words were express once more. Another outlets of feelings was poured down and revelations intensifies the pains of knowing what other people see through us.

Criticisms and judgments were once witnessed again by the innocent ears. But the good thing is, no one cries though I must admit I was very nervous on every detail that they blurt 'cause I'm actually at the bottom of the deepest secret ever. This activity once proved again the worth of friendship and trust with each other as well as cooperation and open communication that alleviates the moods of everyone. I must admit I wasn't able to defend myself from the negative comments but I myself already knew these so there's nothing to defend.

This activity showered us with the words of everyone in the group. It seems that this activity really challenges the strength and power of the bond of friendship as well as to break through oneself. But yes, we needed to accept every little word that we threw to each other because it is not enough that you know yourself, you can be better if you know what other people think and knows about you. We do things consciously and unconsciously thus we may not know every action that we do without listening to other. Consider them and don't disregard them, but it's up to you how you interpreted these painful revelations but I believe this will make you more stronger and way more better person.

Let me tell first what are those positive point of views of beloved people. First, I am PATIENT. Of course I am patient, why? 'Cause of these beloved laptop of mine where I am actually typing at the moment all these ridiculous, hilarious dramas of my life, it always log you know. But the truth is that I never expected to be a patient person 'cause I EASILY LOOSE CONTROL MY ANGER and that is one of their dislikes, and at the same time, I'm actually shocked that no one pointed out that I'm MOODY! I will tell you at once why am I like this at the bottom of this post. Second, I'm EASY TO DEAL WITH, KIND, HUMBLE, GENEROUS, FUN, JOLLY, RELIABLE and DISCIPLINED. Well I don't exactly know why I'm this kind of person, but maybe it occurs naturally to a person like the ones who told me these attitudes. One attitude cannot be reasoned out because this what you really are. Third one, RESPONSIBLE. I don't know but I'm not really that responsible enough because I only act upon instinct and worst, last minute work. But I must say that yes I'm responsible, why? Because I treated myself as an independent person when it comes to personal life and decision makings but as of now, not financially. Maybe if you give credit with all these posts, well just kidding. And the most shocking one that I myself don't even know if it's true, I have a SOFT-ANGEL VOICE! Well that's a first, I always thought my voice was like godzilla or gorilla because of the high pitch of my tone. And above all the positive comments I like, is being a TRUSTWORTHY PERSON THAT CAN EASILY BE TRUSTED WITH SECRETS. Well let just say I'm like this because I learned the ART OF SILENCE AND LISTENING. I will further explain this to you later.

Now we go to the negative comments that I've received in which I've already mention the first one. Second, INSISTING WHAT I WANT AND KNOW EVEN SOMETIMES WHAT I KNOW IS WRONG. Well sometimes we can be like this especially when it comes to defending yourself and even if you are a competitive person. But I never become competitive, I actually give way to those people I knew that deserves more than I do. But I accepted this and try to think first before saying. And this is actually in correlation with the third dislike which is, DON'T PROPOSE ANYTHING THAT IS DOUBTFUL AND IMPOSSIBLE, PUT YOUR WORDS INTO ACTIONS. Well maybe sometime, I can think of more something very unusual and mysterious then I can put them into actions, just kidding. And the last and best negative comment ever that even I, myself knew from the very start, BE OPEN! EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS FREELY AND TELL IT TO ANYONE!

Yes, I am a CLOSE PERSON and I want to take this privilege to tell you why. The whole story started when I was in 3rd grade elementary. I was sick that day but I'd choose to go to school rather than absenting myself just because of this silly colds and fever. During the recess time, I am with my "friends" but that snack time turned to be the MOST DISASTROUS, SADDEST EVENT OF MY LIFE that humiliated and cause TO LOSE MY TRUST to every single person in the world including my parents. They talked about me whisper to whisper looking straightly in my eyes and I suspected that they are really talking about me. I got mad, went back to the classroom and everything seemed to be dark that I cannot see a single person, then they came. The bundle of friends whom I thought to be my real friends were actually grasping and looking anxious that their dearest friend was really sick. And right through there, I heard them clearly and saying, "CAN WE JUST BE HER FRIEND AGAIN!" SAPUL! What do you expect me to do? Accept that bitch offer? I AM NOT YET INSANE, MURDERERS OF FEELINGS! 

And that is were all began of the attitude of keeping silence. I choose this behavior because I'm afraid that this will happen again. Yes the ART OF SILENCE teach me to observe, criticize and judge silently until they will be the one to ask me. I've never trusted people again and stayed quiet even though I want to tell the world he/she is the dirtiest person! I don't wan't to hurt and I don't want to be hurt. But in high school I learned to be more open, but still I select what I say and not to tell everything and trusted people more. Up until now, but the difference is that I tell all my irritations and frustrations about a certain person to another person and not directly to that person. That's why I lack communication and this where complications started . And that is exactly the IRONY of everything. I don't want people to talk about me behind my back so I stayed silent but I myself is doing talking about other people to other behind their backs. Only because I cannot already keep silent and I'm bursting out of anger already. But I can do to remain silent then I will. But let me thank this ART OF SILENCE because I also learned to keep secrets.

I hope my friends will understand this. I have my fears that's why I remain a CLOSE PERSON. But I'll try my best to be more open now. Let me thank you for all the likes and dislikes, because if it's not because of these then I cannot improve myself. I know WHO I AM, but NOW, I know MORE WHO I AM!