A Diary of a Lifeless Soul

Why do people make a diary? Why do they need to write down on a piece of notebook all their activities in a day? Cannot they just pass the day without writing whatever happened and throw these unnecessary events of life?

          Well at first, I took it as a joke writing or inventing my own diary. For me, it is just a waste of time doing this stuff most specially that I, and let me include my classmates, we as student nurses, have a lot of requirements and reports to focus on and we don’t have any silly time in writing down all the things happened to us for a whole day. We know, or may I say, I know that I can only include these words in my daily living as student, “What a stressful day! Good night!”

            And I was shocked, same as the others, that we need to submit a day-by-day entry journal as a part of our requirement in preparation for ourselves to be exposed into psychiatric hospitals. How can a journal or diary help us in overcoming anxieties towards our exposure into the world of lifeless souls of psychotics and in understanding their inconceivable way of thinking?

            Well after few days of writing all the things I did for a day, I came to realized this was really helpful. How it became helpful? First, when we had our self-awareness activity wherein we needed to answer this, “Who am I?” After the activity, I don’t know what pulled me off to grab my journal and write everything including my emotions which were rare for me. But I began to love it.

            They say we need to include our thoughts and emotions for the day even without any unusual events happened. As I read my diary, it is full of emotions towards my family most specially about my late father whom I always remember every time I wasn’t preoccupied of anything such as school stuffs and imagining things (in a positive way) and my mother who always brag in and out of our house about money and how I hate and love her at the same time. My mother cannot bestow me what my father can give me before. But if there is one thing I realized during my tie with my diary is that I was too harsh to her in demanding such things which I already know that her income is three times less than my father’s income before. I always say it was because of my so-called middle child syndrome and it was indeed the reason, I am always jealous of my siblings because of the attention my mother is giving them. She always attends to their needs in just a click, means if they want it now then she will give it immediately while I needed to persuade her more and always remind her all the things I wanted. But after a while with my diary, I now understand that there is nothing to be jealous of, instead it is only a part of the hundreds of trials that a family faced and may face in the future. All that a family should do is to value and understand each other.

          Half or three quarters of the content of my diary is all about thoughts, thoughts about life, personalities, issues, undefined people and the other face of the world. I love to become a rather free writer who can speak out her mind without considering all the wrong grammars and I want to make my own sufferings in making story into something, perhaps a book anyone can able to read. I became fond of reading series books like Harry Potter series and Chronicles of Narnia series in which I am already left out of age to read those books. I want to enhance my ability and knowledge in making such great books like that of my favorite series books.

            But there is one writer who stands out the most who make me believe that anyone can manipulate other people to their deepest soul and attest their faith to the One who create us all. One of his greatest invention that let all the Christians burned their minds and soul and corrupted their hearts was the novel, The Da Vinci Code. Well who would want to believe that Jesus Christ has an heir with no other than the most controversial personality in Christianity, the prostitute Mary Magdalene. I, myself, was attested by this novel, but what I learned is if you have put all your faith in Him and you know how to separate fiction from truth, then you know to yourself that no matter what you may identify which will break your soul into pieces, you will still be a son of God.

            In this diary, I poured all my emotions, from happiness to anger. I relieved my pains and sufferings through this diary which became my partner in crime in all the unnecessary feelings I have. I shouted in silence all my thoughts in life from regressions to suppressions of memories. I can now answer all the questions above. People have a lot hideous secrets, unwanted memories, irascible moments and undefined emotions and they used this simple notebook to keep intact with these magnificent memories. Now, I go back to it and read it, I am laughing at myself because it is really reflected in there who I am and my miserable yet laugh-out-loud “kadramahan ng buhay.”

The DA VINCI CODE

A fictional novel that murdered a billion minds. An altered truth that let's historian chuckle their beards long enough to cut it off. A thrilling-suspense story that for told a lie that Christianity have been protecting. But is what have been imprinted in the novel be accepted by people or ignored it specially Christians? Well why don't we take a look first at the content of the story before we either decide if these were real or just another conspiracy within the society of historians.

The whole story talked about the HOLY GRAIL in which the Church believes it was the CHALICE that was used by Jesus Christ during the Last Supper. But according to this hideous book, the HOLY GRAIL was a person who became a very popular historical figure in Christianity in a devilish image. The HOLY GRAIL is no other than 'MARY MAGDALENE THE PROSTITUTE'. Well, we identify her as one of the 12 apostles of Jesus Christ in which, Mary Magdalene was loved by Jesus Christ more than the other apostles according to Peter. In this way, we could only imagine how Dan Brown stated this book in most devilish way he can.

With the use of the most appreciative wonderful work of art of famous painter, Leonardo Da Vinci, THE LAST SUPPER, Brown extracted these fictional truths about the life of Jesus Christ. According to him, in the painting of Leonardo, the Chalice was not present if you will truly look at it. You can saw glasses of wines but you will never see a single Chalice. Hence, Brown said that the chalice was hidden on the space between Mary Magdalene and Jesus Christ. Another conspiracy story on the book that make the minds of people grumble in the depth of their breathe was Mary Magdalene and Jesus Christ got married and they produced a miraculous image of a child. Of course, who would want to believe this right? What a wreck joke, isn't it? But how can we judge this one if the only person who only conquer the truth was a child of the Christian Church? Conspiracies says that the bible was not fully released with all the true contents during the life of Jesus Christ and some of the most important treason were deleted by Christians.

Another conspiracy extracted by Brown was the Priory of Sion that protects the real identity and deepest secret of Mary Magdalene. The Priory of Sion was once composed of Leonardo himself, the Grandmaster of all Grandmaster. Other includes high society known personalities such as Albert Einstein and others.

Whether these things that was told in the book was real or just a result of the playful mind of Dan Brown, we should not be affected and our faith to HIM should remain. Either the conspiracies that have been told should not alter the way we believe in Him. We should not regard it as an anti-Christ book, because if you really have a strong trust and faith in Him, then nothing will going to kill your innocent yet abusive mind. This is what Dan Brown wants, test your faith in Him and challenge your mind to whether you can really identify a fiction from factual stories. Because HISTORY can be changed by the person who make it and may choose the way in which people will probably think that it is the truth but the real truths lays on those words used by historians. HISTORY manipulates us including HIS own history!