I felt betrayed. I felt mistreated. I felt I lost in a game that was full of mistrust and misconception.
I may not know everything but I do have feelings. Yes, I admit I trash talk about people behind their backs but I never talked anything about someone I learned to trust.
I felt cheated. I felt I lost a friend whom I help to get here. I felt I lost someone to trust already. I am not stupid not to see things and to know things.
Who is "T"?
Well I know.
Me.
Yes, those people whom I trusted betrayed me. But even if so things happened, I have never talked behind their backs. But now, see what they are doing to me.
I hurt people, yes, and I am guilty. Because I know I am not perfect. But the least thing I was hoping is for them not to talk about me. Because I have never done that to them. Even if after all that happened, I kept my silence and never said anything about them. But look, they are happily talking trash about me and even calling me a nickname.
Now, I know the feeling of being the center of talks by the people I trusted. That was why I told myself before to only trust myself, but I was carried away by their kindness. So after all, it was my fault and will always be my fault. Now, that I verified the only one I could trust is not on the same page as me, I might move on as well already.
It is easy to say but it is really hard to do. They thought I wasn't hurting by what I see, but deep inside, I am totally torned into pieces. And I guess, I already lost myself and will never be able to find myself, again.
