Insights of the Activity
Retreat is the activity I’ve looked forward to.
I’ve been in a great spiritual distress since the death of my father 2 years
ago and I can say I’m still a prisoner of his unexpected death up to this time.
He became my best friend though I only knew about this at the latter part of
his life before the Lord has taken him. I questioned the Lord why. Why of all
the evil people in this idiopathic world, why did He take my father who always
helps other people at his utmost power and strength under His name? I have
unknowingly lost my faith in Him. But through the years, with the help of one
of my Anatomy and Physiology teacher who I remember to be in another country
already, I have understand why He got my father away from us. Even though I am
still haunted by the pain brought by his death I have recollected myself in
front of his Holy Home under His Holy Name and seek for forgiveness. I’ve seek
for another chance to bring back my faith to Him and may He guide me in the
future. But problems and conflicts are always around the corner. Because the
pain I’m experiencing, I lost myself.
I began to realize I do not know who
I am already. I began to apprehend I do not know what my future is already. My
clear visions of my future became blurry and corrupted in total darkness. I
started to ask myself, what is the real meaning of my life? What is the real
reason of my existence? Why do I live? Able to save lives was and will always
be a part of my future. But why do I face failures? If I really wanted to save
the human kinds who live in this devilish world, why do I need face failures? I
seek for answers and guidance of the Lord but still I do not have anything to
say to myself.
The retreat activity of our Elective
subjects somehow helped me to find some answers. Father Bunoan told us God is the only being who is perfect. And
so I say, mistakes come to every human kind and I am no exemption to that. I
then realize failures come to us to test us to either fight these failures or
gave up our life because of these failures. The activity The Cycle of Life made us share to our group mates the things that
reflect our personality and I’ve chosen two things, a Cage and a Book. Why? I guess what I told my group mates were
because I am a close person. I am a person who doesn’t share feelings unless
they asked me too or an activity like that was being facilitated. I am a cage
being a howl of feelings. I’ve only learned to listen and keep silent when
someone is telling his/her feelings to me and give advices if he/she asked me
to. But I am more than that yet I can’t voice it out and this is only a proof
that being a close person is an attitude no one or nothing can remove. Though
this is a value I can’t remove, my art of listening and silence is something I
can offer to my patients in the future. A book because is what changes me. These books
helped me to know who I am and to find my future.
Another activity that made my tears flow freely
on my cheeks is The Circles of Love. Though I am little bit
disappointed because we weren’t able to finish our sharing due to time
constraints, I am still glad to this activity. I have known deeper the new
people I am mingling with for the past 4 months. Because I am new to the group,
thanks to our coordinator who randomly picked me to transfer in section A, I
have the chance to know a lot of new individuals with unique personalities and
people with different miseries of life. I relate to them very much because one
of them shared the same pain brought about by the death of our loved ones. The
affirmation we got from each other relieved me from all the negative vibes I
have in my heart. The group sharing was the funniest activity of all. Though
all of us were tired because of the swollen eyes due to heavy tears run through
our soft cheeks, it was still memorable. Thanks to the clowns of each group
most especially to the clowns of Section A whom I guess were drunk with the aid
of the tears.
The next activity was the most memorable one for
me. I’ve halted my mind to think and just let those stupid tears to flow. The Individual Prayer Activity is an
activity that let us talk to God. It is an activity that allows the God to
affirm us and to accept Him in our hearts. And this is why I’ve cried a lot. I
have made my own individual prayer before but I’ve realize that God is waiting
for me. Brother Rene made us wrote a letter to our parents who have sacrificed
for us as what His beloved Son has sacrificed to cleanse the humanities sins.
And I have gained all the thoughts I have in mind just to write a special
letter to my mother revealing all of my emotions towards her including the pain
I still experience from my father’s death. I do hope if she ever read about it,
she will understand everything. The last day was melodramatic yet fun because I
know all of us were relieved and enlightened. All of us will surely bring the
memories and values we have learned for us to deliver a more quality nursing
care to our patients.
A value that I have learned from this retreat is
to become a person. A person
according to Father Bunoan in the simplest definition is a being in relation. I can truly apply this to my practice of being
a nurse because nurses only not deliver a physical care but also a mental,
psychological, social and spiritual care. Staying with the patient, listening
to their concerns silently, letting them verbalize their feelings and attending
to their needs are things that can satisfy a nurses’ responsibility and heart.
And these are what I can do them.
If there is something that needs improvement in
this retreat or Youth Encounter activity are the facilitators. Not to seem rude
because at times I am also nervous in front of a hundred people talking but
they needed to improve their skills in lecturing directly. Even if you are
nervous your composure should not be affected. Just be who you are despite of
the anxiety. Yet I am still glad that they deliver their lectures good and that
they gave their fullest effort to make the Youth Encounter worth memorable to
everyone of us.
A recommendation that I can suggest to the level
coordinator is to make this Retreat activity longer, 3 days at minimum. For me,
2 days is a little bit exhaustive. The facilitators told that they usually do
the Youth Encounter at a maximum of 4 days and that because we were only given
2 days for this activity, they needed to
adjust the schedule and compressed all the sessions. The activity in totally is
worthy, fun and memorable but because of the limited time, we needed to adjust
and become sleepless heads. I just wish that the next batch that will
experience this activity will not be weary and tired and they will feel a total
relaxation in the hands of God. Thank you Ma’am!
PS: A LATE POST
